"To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
O my God, in You I trust...
None of those who wait for You will be ashamed.
Make me know Your ways, O Lord;
Teach me Your paths.
Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation;
For You I wait all the day."
Psalm 25:1-5
You are my hope.
HOPE. Thats a big word. Thats a heavy word. That word, could make or break your day and even your life.
We all HOPE for many things through our day, small and large. As believers, we can confidently say that our eternal HOPE is in the Lord and our salvation through His Son. Our foundation is set.
But what about the "smaller" hopes that invade our daily lives. Yes, they will not survive into eternity, but they will surely impact eternity.
This verse has been hanging in my bathroom for over a year, written and prayed with extreme HOPE.
"With respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God has promised, He was able also to perform." (Romans 4:20-21)
My hope has been planted in redemption of situations and relationships. However, the "promise" has only been partially fulfilled. Glimpses of completion that are ruined by moments from the past. I have been discouraged to say the least. Until this week...
A moment of extreme sorrow and brokenness lead me to talk to a wise woman. Little did I know, how God spoke through her was simply preparing my heart for what HE was about to do.
I have learned in the last 48 hours about the twin sister to our friend HOPE. Her name is obedience. They are never separated.
The following verse in Romans says, "Therefore, it was also credited to him as righteousness." The key to Abraham's hope in God's promises was his actions. He was obedient when the promised had yet to be fulfilled. His faith never wavered in God, it was never dependent on the outcome.
I simply wanted to sit back, pray, and allow God to be a genie and fulfill all my wildest desires and hopes. Ha, it even sounds stupid typing it. But this has been the last two years of my life.
He spoke clearly that I was being disobedient. He brought to my attention the fact that I was living for an outcome He has NOT called me to. God is able to perform anything He wants, whenever He wants it. That's faith we have in Him. Faith is also knowing that God is going to do what is absolutely BEST for me and His kingdom.
My hope has not been in Christ and the building of righteousness in my life. It has been placed in outcomes I want to see come to fulfillment.
HOPE and OBEDIENCE. My hope is now that God is glorified and that I am not consumed. That the power that raised Christ from the dead is also the power that is living in my life. I respond to that in obedience. Obedience to love, obedience to serve, obedience to seek His face when EVERYTHING is pitch black around me.
What better award then to hear, "it was credited to her as righteousness."
I will cling to the things that are written in God's Word....His promises. "For I am fully assured that what God has promised, He was able also to perform."
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
joy in being tied down
I recently upgraded to the new iPhone that begins a fabulous new relationship with Siri. She tells me all I need to know, reminds me to go feed the dog, and wakes me up in the morning. She is fabulous. If only I could change it to Keith Urban's voice...
I have been challenged to seek the Lord on what is next in my life. To stop asking "Why?" things are happening the way they are and to begin asking, "What's next?". Each time I do, I feel as a child would when they are giddy with excitement and their parent gently holds them and says, "Wait, it's not time yet."
It is a wonderful reminder to continue to seek the Lord on what the next step is in your life, but you must be willing to hear Him say, "Be still, and know I am God." (Psalm 46:10) He is so gentle with me, but I often wonder if He wants to grab my face and speak loudly..."Stop FREAKING OUT! Chill!"
My precious students remind me of this concept daily. They want to dive into blowing things up in my class, doing crazy experiments, and dissecting everything. I know, as the teacher, that they are simply not ready. They must learn so much before they can fully understand and enjoy cutting open a dead pig.
How youthful am I in my thinking, that I am ready for all the things I beg the Lord for? For even if He gave them to me, it might be unhealthy for me, I probably won't fully appreciate it, and it won't bring me the most joy. He is fearfully and wonderfully being patient with me.
Psalm 20:1-4 is a beautiful reminder of just how active He is in my life.
"May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble!
May the name of the God of Jacob protect you!
May he send you help from the sanctuary and give you support from Zion!
May he remember all your offerings and regard with favor your burnt sacrifices! May he grant you your heart's desires and fulfill all your plans!"
The phrase, "give you support", stuck out to me. He holds me up when I am too weak, when I feel overwhelmed, and when I am being lazy. He holds me up. He is that constant support.
Strangely, the picture of an anchor came into mind. Maybe the correct picture for my life right now is not He holds me up, but rather He holds me down!
"We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain." Hebrews 6:19
So, I turned to Siri to give me the answer I was looking for. "Siri, what is an anchor?" Being so very faithful to answer (most of the time, correctly), she responded with these meanings.
1.(n) A device that prevents a vessel from moving.
2.(n) A central cohesive source of support and stability
3.(v) Fix firmly and stably
Stability. We crave stability. We want to know that tomorrow will not bring a roller coaster of emotions and situations. But as we look at the picture of an anchor, stability has nothing to do with staying the same or not moving. It has everything to do with freedom and protection. Stay with me on this...grasp the picture.
When a vessel goes out to sea, there are several times that they need to "camp-out" in a certain place. The anchor goes down deep into the water and the crew rests, works on the ship, and plans for the sail tomorrow. They are tied down for the moment, and have freedom to become rested and rejuvenated. there is a stability that their vessel will not drift to an unknown or unsafe place.
Usually, these huge, massive storms we make movies about come at night. How true of our own lives? Our "storms" that we endure often happen in a dark and weary place. The crew has faith in this anchor that holds them down. The anchor does not stop the storm, but simply gives them stability to ride it out.
In my own life, the Lord's protection is more visible than any other provision. He has not withheld the storms from my life at all, but rather holds me down and fixes my soul to be firm and stable in His unending love. After each storm, I am stronger, not because of my own ability, but because I am being fused together with this anchor. His strength and weight to be stable in a storm becomes my strength and weight.
"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:30
I become like a 6 year old girl again, the night before Disney World, giddy with anticipation when I consider what the Lord might possibly have next for me. The longer I "wait", the stronger I am becoming in my nearness to Him, the sweeter I know the future will become.
Being tied down has never proved to produce this much freedom! Freedom from worrying about tomorrow, freedom from having to plan my life out, and freedom to know Who's hands hold me stable.
I have been challenged to seek the Lord on what is next in my life. To stop asking "Why?" things are happening the way they are and to begin asking, "What's next?". Each time I do, I feel as a child would when they are giddy with excitement and their parent gently holds them and says, "Wait, it's not time yet."
It is a wonderful reminder to continue to seek the Lord on what the next step is in your life, but you must be willing to hear Him say, "Be still, and know I am God." (Psalm 46:10) He is so gentle with me, but I often wonder if He wants to grab my face and speak loudly..."Stop FREAKING OUT! Chill!"
My precious students remind me of this concept daily. They want to dive into blowing things up in my class, doing crazy experiments, and dissecting everything. I know, as the teacher, that they are simply not ready. They must learn so much before they can fully understand and enjoy cutting open a dead pig.
How youthful am I in my thinking, that I am ready for all the things I beg the Lord for? For even if He gave them to me, it might be unhealthy for me, I probably won't fully appreciate it, and it won't bring me the most joy. He is fearfully and wonderfully being patient with me.
Psalm 20:1-4 is a beautiful reminder of just how active He is in my life.
"May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble!
May the name of the God of Jacob protect you!
May he send you help from the sanctuary and give you support from Zion!
May he remember all your offerings and regard with favor your burnt sacrifices! May he grant you your heart's desires and fulfill all your plans!"
The phrase, "give you support", stuck out to me. He holds me up when I am too weak, when I feel overwhelmed, and when I am being lazy. He holds me up. He is that constant support.
Strangely, the picture of an anchor came into mind. Maybe the correct picture for my life right now is not He holds me up, but rather He holds me down!
"We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain." Hebrews 6:19
So, I turned to Siri to give me the answer I was looking for. "Siri, what is an anchor?" Being so very faithful to answer (most of the time, correctly), she responded with these meanings.
1.(n) A device that prevents a vessel from moving.
2.(n) A central cohesive source of support and stability
3.(v) Fix firmly and stably
Stability. We crave stability. We want to know that tomorrow will not bring a roller coaster of emotions and situations. But as we look at the picture of an anchor, stability has nothing to do with staying the same or not moving. It has everything to do with freedom and protection. Stay with me on this...grasp the picture.
When a vessel goes out to sea, there are several times that they need to "camp-out" in a certain place. The anchor goes down deep into the water and the crew rests, works on the ship, and plans for the sail tomorrow. They are tied down for the moment, and have freedom to become rested and rejuvenated. there is a stability that their vessel will not drift to an unknown or unsafe place.
Usually, these huge, massive storms we make movies about come at night. How true of our own lives? Our "storms" that we endure often happen in a dark and weary place. The crew has faith in this anchor that holds them down. The anchor does not stop the storm, but simply gives them stability to ride it out.
In my own life, the Lord's protection is more visible than any other provision. He has not withheld the storms from my life at all, but rather holds me down and fixes my soul to be firm and stable in His unending love. After each storm, I am stronger, not because of my own ability, but because I am being fused together with this anchor. His strength and weight to be stable in a storm becomes my strength and weight.
"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:30
I become like a 6 year old girl again, the night before Disney World, giddy with anticipation when I consider what the Lord might possibly have next for me. The longer I "wait", the stronger I am becoming in my nearness to Him, the sweeter I know the future will become.
Being tied down has never proved to produce this much freedom! Freedom from worrying about tomorrow, freedom from having to plan my life out, and freedom to know Who's hands hold me stable.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
joy in discretion...
Discretion is a word that women do not fully understand. If I could pin the majority of problems of women is lack of discretion...in the way we speak, the way we dress, and the way we handle our day.
Discreet: marked by modesty and wise self-restraint; headful of potential consequences; knowing how to avoid distress.
I just thought discretion was going to be the cute title of my Bible study this week, not my life played out before me, ugly consequences and all.
The amount of scripture dedicated to this topic is too much to type, so rather I will share the application it has taken in my life.
For a few years, I was not allowed to be mad at a person in my life and I somehow always ended up apologizing for things I didn't even do wrong. Imagine someone slapping you in the face, and you fall to your knees and beg for forgiveness that your face wasn't closer for them to get better contact. Dumb, right? My discretion was out of whack to say the least. I didn't know how to stand up for myself.
Since that time, I have learned how to say "No", how to stand up for myself, and how to avoid being punched in the face. My downfall came when I took it to the opposite extreme, demanding the right to be upset or angry. I wanted someone to care enough that they had hurt my feelings and my heart.
Discretion guards over you, your mouth, and your actions when it is put into practice. (Prov. 2:11) It provides understanding in the situation...understanding of consequences and how to bring peace into a storm.
Let's just say, I wanted to be right more than I wanted to be "discreet". I was screaming for someone to care enough to notice my hurt and anger.
Note to self: that doesn't work. Those that love you and care about you will be genuinely concerned when they hurt you. Don't seek for it when it is not there!
I made a decision in my mind that I was going to stand my ground, when I should have let the subject go. I was going to prove my point, when I desperately needed to walk away and SHUT MY MOUTH.
After a very harsh 1.5 hours, the door was slammed in my face and little did I know how much my lack of discretion hurt, angered, and pushed away someone dear to me.
Everything the LORD commands of us is for our own good! Why in the world would He tell us to be "quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger"? Because "the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." (James 1:19-20)
No one wants to be friends with someone who is not discreet. There is a time and place for honesty and there is a time and place to keep your mouth shut when your words are not needed and will most like cause damage.
Proverbs is very clear that discretion is self-control over your emotions. Emotions are not wrong until they take the driver seat of your life.
Hollywood has painted a picture to women that our emotions are what get us places, get us the Romeo, and that we have a right to say "whatever you please to feel better".
My mind goes back to a scene in The Notebook, where Alli and Noah are yelling and screaming at each other, desperately trying to prove their point that they "don't need or want each other". Hollywood paints the consequence as a very fruitful one as they jump into each other's arms and well...you know the rest.
One of the most well known sit-coms, FRIENDS, has a scene between Ross and Rachel that will go down in history. The words thrown at the other was meant to cut the other down, a total loss of control over emotions. The door is slammed and locked and the crying begins (from Rachel this time, not Ross surprisedly). That relationship is OVER (for the 5th time). Until...he comes back, she unlocks the door, and well...you know the rest.
"
Never in my life have I seen this result of fighting and loss of self-control in real life. I have never known two friends to fight and yell and say "exactly how they feel" and then embrace in a closer than ever moment.
I don't believe the way to a happy relationship is one where you have the right to say whatever you want. God calls us to a standard of putting someone before yourself. The other person's heart is more valuable than you getting your point across.
I am not a physiologist, but in my experience in being a emotional girl, I have learned that we show a small percentage of emotions that we actually feel. In our daily interactions with other humans, especially other believers, we respond to the emotions we see. Little do we know that those emotions are the tip of the ice burg. The hurt we cause people does not surface until later.
Joy comes in discretion. While our emotions are running crazy and we ourselves our hurt, stop your words next time. Think about what they could potentially do to your friend, co-worker, neighbor, or loved one. Then multiple that hurt times ten, then you have the consequences for your discretion-less actions.
This week, I have felt the weight of those very consequences. "If ONLY" I had kept my mouth shut. Imagine the glory that would have brought to the very ONE who has showed the ultimate discretion with me. Next time you want to prove your point, think of how our Savior could have very easily proved the wrath that we bring upon ourselves. He chooses to love us, to forgive us, and to speak softly to us. He is "quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger." (James 1:19) ALL PRAISE TO THAT!
I awoke this morning to a very heavy heart, one of regret. Seeking forgiveness is the only action I can take. From my God and my friend. When you seek forgiveness, you are at the mercy of the other. You cannot speed the healing process up. You must be patient and show discretion on how to show your distance. David's cry to the LORD shows the regretfulness and mercy he seeks for his actions...
"O God, you know my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you. Let not those who hope in you be put to shame through me, O Lord God of hosts...
But as for me, my prayer is to you, O LORD. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness....
Answer me, O LORD, for your steadfast love is good; according to your abundant mercy, turn to me.
Draw near to my soul, REDEEM me."
(Psalm 69:13,15, 6-17)
Never again do I want someone who puts their HOPE in God, to be put to shame through me. May my actions never again rule over my spirit. My emotions will not take the driver seat to end up crashing a friendship or a even a chance to simply show the discretion GOD shows me everyday.
In ending, take these notes from Jerry Bridges to heart...
"Seek to develop God's own trait of being 'slow to anger' (Ex.34:6)...reflect on the patience of God towards us. God disciplines us out of love, while we turn and discipline out of anger. We are eager to punish the person who provokes us, while God is eager to forgive.
We are eager to exercise our authority, while God is eager to exercise His love. This kind of patience does not ignore the provocations of others; it simply seek to respond to them in a godly manner."
Find great joy in keeping your mouth shut, women all over the world. Imagine a place, where women seeking God's glory and rights over our own. Imagine the looks we would get when we choose to love rather than be right... "the unfading loveliness of a calm and gentle spirit, a thing VERY PRECIOUS IN THE EYES OF GOD." (1 Peter 3:3-4)
Discreet: marked by modesty and wise self-restraint; headful of potential consequences; knowing how to avoid distress.
I just thought discretion was going to be the cute title of my Bible study this week, not my life played out before me, ugly consequences and all.
The amount of scripture dedicated to this topic is too much to type, so rather I will share the application it has taken in my life.
For a few years, I was not allowed to be mad at a person in my life and I somehow always ended up apologizing for things I didn't even do wrong. Imagine someone slapping you in the face, and you fall to your knees and beg for forgiveness that your face wasn't closer for them to get better contact. Dumb, right? My discretion was out of whack to say the least. I didn't know how to stand up for myself.
Since that time, I have learned how to say "No", how to stand up for myself, and how to avoid being punched in the face. My downfall came when I took it to the opposite extreme, demanding the right to be upset or angry. I wanted someone to care enough that they had hurt my feelings and my heart.
Discretion guards over you, your mouth, and your actions when it is put into practice. (Prov. 2:11) It provides understanding in the situation...understanding of consequences and how to bring peace into a storm.
Let's just say, I wanted to be right more than I wanted to be "discreet". I was screaming for someone to care enough to notice my hurt and anger.
Note to self: that doesn't work. Those that love you and care about you will be genuinely concerned when they hurt you. Don't seek for it when it is not there!
I made a decision in my mind that I was going to stand my ground, when I should have let the subject go. I was going to prove my point, when I desperately needed to walk away and SHUT MY MOUTH.
After a very harsh 1.5 hours, the door was slammed in my face and little did I know how much my lack of discretion hurt, angered, and pushed away someone dear to me.
Everything the LORD commands of us is for our own good! Why in the world would He tell us to be "quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger"? Because "the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." (James 1:19-20)
No one wants to be friends with someone who is not discreet. There is a time and place for honesty and there is a time and place to keep your mouth shut when your words are not needed and will most like cause damage.
Proverbs is very clear that discretion is self-control over your emotions. Emotions are not wrong until they take the driver seat of your life.
Hollywood has painted a picture to women that our emotions are what get us places, get us the Romeo, and that we have a right to say "whatever you please to feel better".
My mind goes back to a scene in The Notebook, where Alli and Noah are yelling and screaming at each other, desperately trying to prove their point that they "don't need or want each other". Hollywood paints the consequence as a very fruitful one as they jump into each other's arms and well...you know the rest.
One of the most well known sit-coms, FRIENDS, has a scene between Ross and Rachel that will go down in history. The words thrown at the other was meant to cut the other down, a total loss of control over emotions. The door is slammed and locked and the crying begins (from Rachel this time, not Ross surprisedly). That relationship is OVER (for the 5th time). Until...he comes back, she unlocks the door, and well...you know the rest.
"
Never in my life have I seen this result of fighting and loss of self-control in real life. I have never known two friends to fight and yell and say "exactly how they feel" and then embrace in a closer than ever moment.
I don't believe the way to a happy relationship is one where you have the right to say whatever you want. God calls us to a standard of putting someone before yourself. The other person's heart is more valuable than you getting your point across.
I am not a physiologist, but in my experience in being a emotional girl, I have learned that we show a small percentage of emotions that we actually feel. In our daily interactions with other humans, especially other believers, we respond to the emotions we see. Little do we know that those emotions are the tip of the ice burg. The hurt we cause people does not surface until later.
Joy comes in discretion. While our emotions are running crazy and we ourselves our hurt, stop your words next time. Think about what they could potentially do to your friend, co-worker, neighbor, or loved one. Then multiple that hurt times ten, then you have the consequences for your discretion-less actions.
This week, I have felt the weight of those very consequences. "If ONLY" I had kept my mouth shut. Imagine the glory that would have brought to the very ONE who has showed the ultimate discretion with me. Next time you want to prove your point, think of how our Savior could have very easily proved the wrath that we bring upon ourselves. He chooses to love us, to forgive us, and to speak softly to us. He is "quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger." (James 1:19) ALL PRAISE TO THAT!
I awoke this morning to a very heavy heart, one of regret. Seeking forgiveness is the only action I can take. From my God and my friend. When you seek forgiveness, you are at the mercy of the other. You cannot speed the healing process up. You must be patient and show discretion on how to show your distance. David's cry to the LORD shows the regretfulness and mercy he seeks for his actions...
"O God, you know my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you. Let not those who hope in you be put to shame through me, O Lord God of hosts...
But as for me, my prayer is to you, O LORD. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness....
Answer me, O LORD, for your steadfast love is good; according to your abundant mercy, turn to me.
Draw near to my soul, REDEEM me."
(Psalm 69:13,15, 6-17)
Never again do I want someone who puts their HOPE in God, to be put to shame through me. May my actions never again rule over my spirit. My emotions will not take the driver seat to end up crashing a friendship or a even a chance to simply show the discretion GOD shows me everyday.
In ending, take these notes from Jerry Bridges to heart...
"Seek to develop God's own trait of being 'slow to anger' (Ex.34:6)...reflect on the patience of God towards us. God disciplines us out of love, while we turn and discipline out of anger. We are eager to punish the person who provokes us, while God is eager to forgive.
We are eager to exercise our authority, while God is eager to exercise His love. This kind of patience does not ignore the provocations of others; it simply seek to respond to them in a godly manner."
Find great joy in keeping your mouth shut, women all over the world. Imagine a place, where women seeking God's glory and rights over our own. Imagine the looks we would get when we choose to love rather than be right... "the unfading loveliness of a calm and gentle spirit, a thing VERY PRECIOUS IN THE EYES OF GOD." (1 Peter 3:3-4)
Saturday, April 7, 2012
joy in my white jeans
I love my white jeans I purchased two years ago. They are the most comfortable and flattering pants I own. From two years of dedicated wear (all year round, who cares about fashion rules), they aren't the pants they used to be.
As studying this morning in Romans and Galatians about surrender, my white pants (drying on the back of the chair) stared at me. God used my white jeans to tell a story.
Surrender is a sticky subject. We would rather talk about God's love, His freedom, His joy, etc. Anything over "surrender". But what I am learning is that His love, His freedom, His joy are all benefits to my surrender.
"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20
When I read this passage a couple of days ago, I skimmed over it honestly, because of its familiarity. But the Lord began teaching me something new.
When I surrender, I literally don't have a life to call my own. Meaning, I don't get to call the shots, make the decisions, and "worry" about what will happen. It's not my life. I don't get the driver's seat. I am now a passenger. I no longer live but observe and participate.
...but Christ lives in me. He calls the shots, He is concerned with tomorrow, and He makes the decisions.
When the evil I want to do comes and shows its evil face (as read in Romans 7:14-25), in my surrender to God, I can't surrender to the selfish desire. I am BOUND to live in freedom from sin. Maybe this only makes sense in my head.
As we surrender our will and our lives, we discover who we really are. Enter the white jeans.
I think they still look great. A couple of marks from when my students ran into me with a marker, but you can barely see them. A little stained where it meets the ground, but who looks there anyway?
The devil's greatest tool in my life is saying that I am "pretty good right where I am." Who I am is great, my personality is great, and my life is blessed ENOUGH.
In the book by C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters, the devil is describing the process of surrender and why they would want to keep Christians from it:
"When He talks of their losing their selves, He means only abandoning the clamour of self-will; once they have done that, He really gives them back all their personality, and boasts (I am afraid, sincerely) that when they are wholly His they will be more themselves than ever."
I believe me and my white jeans are great right where we are until I walk up to a brand-new pair of white jeans and realize how dirty and filthy mine really are. I think my personality is just peachy and fun and pretty good, until I am faced with the fact that I was made to be SO MUCH MORE.
I am not myself. I only find myself in it's rarest and most beautiful forms when I no longer live, but CHRIST LIVES IN ME.
Chambers wrote "We have to keep letting go, and slowly and surely the great full life of God will invade us in every part, and mean will take knowledge of us that we have been with Jesus."
Why would I want to live in the drivers seat, continually screwing things up and getting myself hurt in my white, dirty jeans, just because it is familiar.
I want to throw those away and put on the righteousness that Christ has in store for me, move to the passenger seat. For when you are in the passenger seat, you are not as concerned as the process as you are the destination. You sit back, enjoy the view and the Driver sitting next to you. You will get to the destination eventually, but the ride is totally worth it.
As studying this morning in Romans and Galatians about surrender, my white pants (drying on the back of the chair) stared at me. God used my white jeans to tell a story.
Surrender is a sticky subject. We would rather talk about God's love, His freedom, His joy, etc. Anything over "surrender". But what I am learning is that His love, His freedom, His joy are all benefits to my surrender.
"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20
When I read this passage a couple of days ago, I skimmed over it honestly, because of its familiarity. But the Lord began teaching me something new.
When I surrender, I literally don't have a life to call my own. Meaning, I don't get to call the shots, make the decisions, and "worry" about what will happen. It's not my life. I don't get the driver's seat. I am now a passenger. I no longer live but observe and participate.
...but Christ lives in me. He calls the shots, He is concerned with tomorrow, and He makes the decisions.
When the evil I want to do comes and shows its evil face (as read in Romans 7:14-25), in my surrender to God, I can't surrender to the selfish desire. I am BOUND to live in freedom from sin. Maybe this only makes sense in my head.
As we surrender our will and our lives, we discover who we really are. Enter the white jeans.
I think they still look great. A couple of marks from when my students ran into me with a marker, but you can barely see them. A little stained where it meets the ground, but who looks there anyway?
The devil's greatest tool in my life is saying that I am "pretty good right where I am." Who I am is great, my personality is great, and my life is blessed ENOUGH.
In the book by C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters, the devil is describing the process of surrender and why they would want to keep Christians from it:
"When He talks of their losing their selves, He means only abandoning the clamour of self-will; once they have done that, He really gives them back all their personality, and boasts (I am afraid, sincerely) that when they are wholly His they will be more themselves than ever."
I believe me and my white jeans are great right where we are until I walk up to a brand-new pair of white jeans and realize how dirty and filthy mine really are. I think my personality is just peachy and fun and pretty good, until I am faced with the fact that I was made to be SO MUCH MORE.
I am not myself. I only find myself in it's rarest and most beautiful forms when I no longer live, but CHRIST LIVES IN ME.
Chambers wrote "We have to keep letting go, and slowly and surely the great full life of God will invade us in every part, and mean will take knowledge of us that we have been with Jesus."
Why would I want to live in the drivers seat, continually screwing things up and getting myself hurt in my white, dirty jeans, just because it is familiar.
I want to throw those away and put on the righteousness that Christ has in store for me, move to the passenger seat. For when you are in the passenger seat, you are not as concerned as the process as you are the destination. You sit back, enjoy the view and the Driver sitting next to you. You will get to the destination eventually, but the ride is totally worth it.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
joy in floating
We all understand what it is like to be "sleeping" on Christmas Eve, checking your phone every three minutes to see if you got the job, running the last 1/4 mile of your workout, or watching every plane fly in as your twiddle your thumbs at baggage claim. As human beings, we do not understand the concept of WAITING. The anticipation kills us. We get bummed out and most of the time...very irritable.
"Why can't it come NOW??"
God did not instill the gift of patience and understanding in us. We start this desperate search for control of something at a very young age! Some situation that we can wrap our minds around and decide the outcome. We want to rid the need for patience and the need to rely on someone else. Control is such an issue. We don't even understand why we can't be in control.
Oh, how the Lord understands our need to know when and how something will go down. He understands that we need a greater Counsel than ourselves. Someone who understands time and space, love and life, and disappointment and failure. He alone understands how all of those things come together beautifully...only when we WAIT for Him to finish putting together the puzzle.
I'm not ready yet and Lord knows it!
The Good Farmer watches His crops grow, nourishes them, and prunes them along the way. He could pick them whenever He wants...but He knows the day they will be the sweetest!
There is something beautiful about waiting. There is something divine about patience. The Lord displays His humor and strength as He teaches us to "FLOAT". For when you float, you have no control, your eyes are pointed towards Heaven, you relax and allow yourself to see a better perspective.
"Why can't it come NOW??"
God did not instill the gift of patience and understanding in us. We start this desperate search for control of something at a very young age! Some situation that we can wrap our minds around and decide the outcome. We want to rid the need for patience and the need to rely on someone else. Control is such an issue. We don't even understand why we can't be in control.
Oh, how the Lord understands our need to know when and how something will go down. He understands that we need a greater Counsel than ourselves. Someone who understands time and space, love and life, and disappointment and failure. He alone understands how all of those things come together beautifully...only when we WAIT for Him to finish putting together the puzzle.
I'm not ready yet and Lord knows it!
The Good Farmer watches His crops grow, nourishes them, and prunes them along the way. He could pick them whenever He wants...but He knows the day they will be the sweetest!
There is something beautiful about waiting. There is something divine about patience. The Lord displays His humor and strength as He teaches us to "FLOAT". For when you float, you have no control, your eyes are pointed towards Heaven, you relax and allow yourself to see a better perspective.
You may be on the edge of something beautiful...but wouldn't you rather wait until the Lord has made you even more beautiful and sweet? Wait a few days...you will enjoy the surprise around the corner even more!
Friday, February 18, 2011
Joy in Florida of all places...home of the retiree and baseball players
I woke up at 9am this morning only to find no responsibilities waiting at my door (or on my phone). I took a deep breath for the first time and realized that some of life can be enjoyed NOT on a schedule.
I adore the family I am with. They are loving towards each other and laugh constantly! Just my cup of tea. The girls think I hung the moon (which they will soon learn...I didn't) and are so anxious to start school. However, here is the catch...we aren't starting school until MONDAY! YIPPEE!! We are taking the weekend to get settled for the next month and to explore this beautiful part of the state.
The last time I was on the beach was Beach Retreat, and we all know NO relaxing gets done there! I am giddy to find out what all else God has in store. He has blessed me more than I know and realize! I understand now when the psalmist cries out...
Psalm 103:1 NASB
I adore the family I am with. They are loving towards each other and laugh constantly! Just my cup of tea. The girls think I hung the moon (which they will soon learn...I didn't) and are so anxious to start school. However, here is the catch...we aren't starting school until MONDAY! YIPPEE!! We are taking the weekend to get settled for the next month and to explore this beautiful part of the state.
The last time I was on the beach was Beach Retreat, and we all know NO relaxing gets done there! I am giddy to find out what all else God has in store. He has blessed me more than I know and realize! I understand now when the psalmist cries out...
Psalm 103:1 NASB
Bless the Lord , O my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Sometimes you don't have to rely on what you know...sometimes you can react because of how you feel. And I feel like I need to scream out of excitement for what the LORD has done for me.
Here is to finding a NEW JOY to sing everyday. For me...joy was found in a blank phone when I woke up and four little girls waiting for me to get up :).
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Joy in wonder
Have you ever seen something so beautiful that it literally stops you in your tracks and you are speechless?
There have been several things in the last month that have caused this sense of wonder in my life. In the times of drought and struggle, these are the joys that push us forward. They are the cup of joe that spurs us on. Enjoy.
This gorgeous sunrise exploded in the sky at the end of a morning Bible study with Cy-Ranch girls. I had to take a picture to capture the moment. God is creative and He likes to use my favorite colors to paint the sky.
This boy's laughter makes my day no matter the circumstance. If you don't have a favorite baby that you can listen to as they laugh...find one. They giggle as the ones they love, love on them.
It seems we should giggle more often since we have a God that loves on us all the time!
Ever having a stressful day...invite sweet friends over and make your favorite dishes. The best conversations comes from the kitchen with a spoon in your hand. Don't forget...in blessed fellowship, calories don't count.
Last, but not least...the best way to beat the blues...CUDDLE!
Grab a blanket and snuggle up to someone who is always there to love you. just for who you are.
FIND JOY. SEEK IT OUT. ITs ALWAYS THERE
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