Joy in disappointment

"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding..."

"Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Ps 73:25-26

You get a small taste of something so sweet and your expectation to taste again rises. You begin to plan your day around the next bite. You cannot think of anything else. One day passes, then two, then three. Still no new taste. It begins to be the only sweetness of your life. You forget to taste and see that the Lord is good, but so was the first bite. But the comfort comes in the second part of the verse. "How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!" (Ps 34:8). I cannot take refuge in the expectation of another bite. Of the sweetness of the bite itself. Things of the world are sweet but they will end. I have an eternal comfort and shelter. As when I dwell in this shelter is when I taste and see the "goodness" of the world to the extreme. Every good and perfect gift comes from above. When my taste buds are set by the Word of God, I begin to enjoy the things surrounding me because I have first tasted and enjoyed the eternal goodness of Christ. Like a fine wine brings out the flavors of food to the fullest.

Disappointment is inevitable. My eyes get set on the things of the world. I settle for a store-bought cookie when God is waiting to indulge me a four course meal. My disappointment lies in wanting to dictate my diet and expecting to eat one thing. The Lord knows to the fullest what my diet needs to be for me to be healthy, satisfied, and the most enJOYable. My God is good to me, I have tasted and seen.

I will CHOOSE to taste the goodness of the Lord today..... "Choose" by Christy Nockels

Let me be in love with what You love
Let me be most satisfied in You
Forsaking what this world has offered me
I choose to be in love with You
I will choose to be in love with You

Let me know the peace that's mine in You
Let me know the joy my heart can sing
For I have nothing Lord apart from You
I choose to call on Christ in me
I will choose to call on Christ in me

For in the fullness of who You are
I can rest in this place
And giving over this, my journey Lord
I see nothing but Your face

Let me know that You have loved me first
Let me know the weight of my response
For You have long pursued my wandering heart
I choose to glory in Your cross
I will choose to glory in Your cross

And I bow down...
Humbly, I bow down...
Humbly, I bow down...
I bow down...

I bow down, I bow down
my beloved- here I am
I bow down, I bow down to You...

Joy in starting over

My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you before you can move on.
- the movie Forest Gump

Psalms 23:3 “He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.

Everyone makes resolutions this time of year. Basically to be a whole new person. The standards we set are so high, we are bound to fail. But it’s a fun conversation started, especially when you are meeting new people or when you come back to school. I usually make the typical girl resolutions, do things on my “There is no way i would ever do that list”, spend less money on shoes, and lose weight to fit into the skinny pants I haven’t worn since JH. This year, January 1st was approaching quickly and I didn’t want to make any resolutions, mostly because enough change had taken place for the whole year to come. I was given a second chance at the end of the summer. Now normally when someone starts out one of these “near-death”, sob stories, it usually ends with an eye-opening, life-changing experience. I couldn’t have a normal “near-death” experience. My second chance, a new change was a hard choice.

In the middle of august, I was at the lake with the leaders from our youth group. Long story short, I was hit in the back with an airborne jet ski. I was knocked out. They thought I was dead laying face down in the water. Then I woke up. I have no idea why God choose to let me wake up, still learning the answer to that one. I came away with no permanent injuries, and I walked away from the hospital 5 hours later. Normal near-death experience consist of telling everyone you know how much you love them, you understand your life better, and you have perfect vision of what you are on earth for. I didn’t have any of that. I laid on the couch for 2 weeks, unable to go to work, see friends, and live life. I sunk into depression. I hated every minute of my injury, because it stopped me from living.

When I came home from the hospital, I had a choice. Just like each one of you have a choice in your life to start over. Whether it be through a situation in your life you didn’t count on or simply a new year’s resolution, you are at a cross-road and its your choice which way you go.

When you have things in your past that constantly haunt you and you can’t escape, like my constant back pain that reminded me of what happened, you have a choice to be miserable with it, or move past it. Starting over requires learning from your past but not letting your past dictate your future. I finally decided to not let my injury stop me from living, but I still had to work-out, stretch, not go running for a long time or lift heavy things. My injury affected my future, but it didn’t dictate it.

This beautiful truth is shown in one of the most popular scriptures in the world. Psalm 23:3 “He restores my soul (healing), he guides me in the paths of righteousness (guidance) for His name’s sake (purpose).”

When something happens in your life and you are forced to make a decision to “start over”, you can rest (like in verses 1-2) assured that God will heal your past (He restores your soul). It says that he removes your sin as far as the east is from the west. Your past no longer has control. Then He guides you on the right path. He shows you the right exercises and stretches to make you strong again. He leads you on the right path. Why does all of this happen??!? “for His name’s sake.” He gives you purpose: to live for His name.

One of my favorite songs says this:

Cause you can’t change what you’ve done

But you can choose who you’ll become

Every moment is a second chance.

Today is your choice what you do with the crossroad in front of you. Start over today because His mercies are new every morning. (Lam 3)