Joy in disappointment

"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding..."

"Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Ps 73:25-26

You get a small taste of something so sweet and your expectation to taste again rises. You begin to plan your day around the next bite. You cannot think of anything else. One day passes, then two, then three. Still no new taste. It begins to be the only sweetness of your life. You forget to taste and see that the Lord is good, but so was the first bite. But the comfort comes in the second part of the verse. "How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!" (Ps 34:8). I cannot take refuge in the expectation of another bite. Of the sweetness of the bite itself. Things of the world are sweet but they will end. I have an eternal comfort and shelter. As when I dwell in this shelter is when I taste and see the "goodness" of the world to the extreme. Every good and perfect gift comes from above. When my taste buds are set by the Word of God, I begin to enjoy the things surrounding me because I have first tasted and enjoyed the eternal goodness of Christ. Like a fine wine brings out the flavors of food to the fullest.

Disappointment is inevitable. My eyes get set on the things of the world. I settle for a store-bought cookie when God is waiting to indulge me a four course meal. My disappointment lies in wanting to dictate my diet and expecting to eat one thing. The Lord knows to the fullest what my diet needs to be for me to be healthy, satisfied, and the most enJOYable. My God is good to me, I have tasted and seen.

I will CHOOSE to taste the goodness of the Lord today..... "Choose" by Christy Nockels

Let me be in love with what You love
Let me be most satisfied in You
Forsaking what this world has offered me
I choose to be in love with You
I will choose to be in love with You

Let me know the peace that's mine in You
Let me know the joy my heart can sing
For I have nothing Lord apart from You
I choose to call on Christ in me
I will choose to call on Christ in me

For in the fullness of who You are
I can rest in this place
And giving over this, my journey Lord
I see nothing but Your face

Let me know that You have loved me first
Let me know the weight of my response
For You have long pursued my wandering heart
I choose to glory in Your cross
I will choose to glory in Your cross

And I bow down...
Humbly, I bow down...
Humbly, I bow down...
I bow down...

I bow down, I bow down
my beloved- here I am
I bow down, I bow down to You...

Joy in starting over

My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you before you can move on.
- the movie Forest Gump

Psalms 23:3 “He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.

Everyone makes resolutions this time of year. Basically to be a whole new person. The standards we set are so high, we are bound to fail. But it’s a fun conversation started, especially when you are meeting new people or when you come back to school. I usually make the typical girl resolutions, do things on my “There is no way i would ever do that list”, spend less money on shoes, and lose weight to fit into the skinny pants I haven’t worn since JH. This year, January 1st was approaching quickly and I didn’t want to make any resolutions, mostly because enough change had taken place for the whole year to come. I was given a second chance at the end of the summer. Now normally when someone starts out one of these “near-death”, sob stories, it usually ends with an eye-opening, life-changing experience. I couldn’t have a normal “near-death” experience. My second chance, a new change was a hard choice.

In the middle of august, I was at the lake with the leaders from our youth group. Long story short, I was hit in the back with an airborne jet ski. I was knocked out. They thought I was dead laying face down in the water. Then I woke up. I have no idea why God choose to let me wake up, still learning the answer to that one. I came away with no permanent injuries, and I walked away from the hospital 5 hours later. Normal near-death experience consist of telling everyone you know how much you love them, you understand your life better, and you have perfect vision of what you are on earth for. I didn’t have any of that. I laid on the couch for 2 weeks, unable to go to work, see friends, and live life. I sunk into depression. I hated every minute of my injury, because it stopped me from living.

When I came home from the hospital, I had a choice. Just like each one of you have a choice in your life to start over. Whether it be through a situation in your life you didn’t count on or simply a new year’s resolution, you are at a cross-road and its your choice which way you go.

When you have things in your past that constantly haunt you and you can’t escape, like my constant back pain that reminded me of what happened, you have a choice to be miserable with it, or move past it. Starting over requires learning from your past but not letting your past dictate your future. I finally decided to not let my injury stop me from living, but I still had to work-out, stretch, not go running for a long time or lift heavy things. My injury affected my future, but it didn’t dictate it.

This beautiful truth is shown in one of the most popular scriptures in the world. Psalm 23:3 “He restores my soul (healing), he guides me in the paths of righteousness (guidance) for His name’s sake (purpose).”

When something happens in your life and you are forced to make a decision to “start over”, you can rest (like in verses 1-2) assured that God will heal your past (He restores your soul). It says that he removes your sin as far as the east is from the west. Your past no longer has control. Then He guides you on the right path. He shows you the right exercises and stretches to make you strong again. He leads you on the right path. Why does all of this happen??!? “for His name’s sake.” He gives you purpose: to live for His name.

One of my favorite songs says this:

Cause you can’t change what you’ve done

But you can choose who you’ll become

Every moment is a second chance.

Today is your choice what you do with the crossroad in front of you. Start over today because His mercies are new every morning. (Lam 3)

joy in the unknown

When I can’t see the next step...

I see your face.

When I can’t feel my way in the dark...

My hand is firm in your grip.

I don’t know...

but You do.

I can’t understand Your ways...

I wouldn’t understand if you told me.

I don’t have to know...

You do.

My world is in Your hands.

Your will is not in mine.

I close my mouth

I listen to the words that comes on your every breath.

I rest in peace

My Jesus holds my world in His hands.

He knows what He is doing.

I’ve never been more thankful.

As humans, we love to see others do the impossible. But as soon as the spotlight comes on us, our faith is weakened beyond belief and we are struck dumb. Anything that scares us or seems impossible can be done by anyone but ourselves. But what happens when you see someone complete what looked to be unthinkable.

One of the biggest hit shows of the last decade has been the Biggest Loser. Why is watching a bunch of overweight strangers workout and try to eat healthy while sneaking Twinkies in their room appealing? They are doing what the world says is "impossible". The end of the season becomes the biggest inspiration to the rest of the nation watching from the couch to do the impossible in our lives.

We can't do the impossible on our own strength. But we serve the God who majors in the impossible. Pick any story in the Bible and I prove my point. One of my favorite stories is God accomplishing the most impossible task to humans...Mary's pregnancy.

She couldn't see the future, she was living day by day on faith and seeking God's face.

Her world was dark and unsupportive around her, she held on to the grasp of God's faithfulness.

She didn't know what He was up to, but OH how well HE knew what He was doing!

She would have freaked out if God had told her what was going on! He knows best!

Her world was in His hands...the whole world laid in the hands of the One she was carrying.

She choose not to argue, but to dwell on the words of comfort from her Lord.

She rested in peace as she held her Jesus in her arms, knowing one day He would do the same for her.

I can say without a doubt she was thankful for that God knew what He was doing!

Whatever situation you are blinded to right now, rest in the one who sees not only what is going on, but understands the fears and concerns of your heart and wants to put them to rest in His peace.

joy in laughing

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried, stopped breathing, or became speechless?

My favorite result of laughter is finally taking the breath that has been locked inside by fear or pain. It's the all famous *sigh*. You don't even realize that you haven't been able to take a sigh of relief until someone takes you off guard and makes you laugh.  

That's what fear does to you. It steals your laughter, your smile, your joy. Fear captivates your attention. You choose to invite fear in, to entertain it, feed it, and let it dwell or kill it. 

You kill fear by choosing joy, choosing to laugh at the days to come. (see prov. 31:25 below)

• "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." 

I get scared a lot.  I fear the future changing and not knowing where it will take me or leave me. The unknown freaks me out. Fear tells me to focus on myself and how "unfair" the unknown is. 

Fear is like a bad friend, telling you what you want to hear to pull you to their side.  As you lean on fear to hold you up through the unknown, it puts the finishing touch of "bad friend" by stabbing you in the back and robbing you of the joy of the moment. 

Joy comes when you look at fear in the face, slam the door, and return to your sweet fellowship with the Lord. Oh, He is so good to me. He knows the future, and I know Him. Therefore, I do not know fear. I know protection, acceptance, love, and pure joy. Joy in laughter. Joy in looking the biggest, scariest future situation in the face, and laughing because I know the best is yet to be. 

"Hey, if you can't laugh at life then you might as well make others laugh at it."

joy in a brace

Being in a brace around your entire stomach/back is a strange place to find joy. 

I was in a jet ski accident over a week ago and for six days I walked very gingerly and very cautiously, as if not to bump into anything or let anyone hurt my back. I was weak and the bones in my back and in my ribs were VERY weak. When I finally arrived at the doctor, he pulled out a brace for me to wear and very tightly snugged it on my mid-section.  It took a long time to get used to having a "restraint" on me, but as soon as I got off the cold doctor's table, I realized it was easier to stand up. It was easier to walk, to get in and out of the car, and easier to bend over and get something off the floor. 

WHY was something easier when there was more restraint??? Because it gave my fragile bones support. No longer was it solely dependent on my cracked vertebrate to allow me to move, they could depend on something much stronger. 

"For you were called to freedom, only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another." Gal 5:13

Although I had been given an extra support for my back, that didn't mean I ran out of the building and went to start training for a race. I didn't begin to lift anything over 20 pounds (doctor's orders). I continued in the same pattern I had before, I didn't have to rely on my own strength anymore though.  

We all are weak and fragile. Our bones cannot handle the pressure the world throws our way. We are already broken and there is Someone that wants to put us back together and heal us (see Isaiah 61:1-3).  We can try to walk and heal on our own, but we only do ourselves more damage. God showed me very clearly this morning as I put my brace on to wear for the entire day, that His grace is my brace in life. Because I have been given this amazing gift of grace that supports me and sustains me through life, does that give me reason to abuse it or claim it as my own ability? Paul says "May it Never Be!" 

DO not resist the brace or grace in your life, allow it to do the healing that is necessary for your broken bones.  As your bones heal, use the strength and support He gives to in turn bless someone else's life and love them through your pain. It brings healing. 

Through every heartache and pain, there is hope that we cling to and His name is Jehovah Rapha - the LORD is my Healer!!! And what better place to find joy then in the arms of the One who wipes away your tears. 

*listen to the song "Healer" by Kari Jobe. A.maz.ing! 

Joy in LOOOOOOVE!

NO I don't mean the type of love that makes you weak at the knees, for this love means giving everything you have and becoming stronger. Climbing into the arms of the Almighty. Love does not make you weak....oh the power you receive!

"Love the LORD your God with all your heart (passions), and soul (prayers), and all your mind (intelligence)." Matthew 22:37.

I had my mentor ask me what my goal in life was. Hard question. Ask yourself what it would be for you. I said that I wanted to bring God glory through my life. Good answer. Text book answer. Here is what I do though. I see the goal in mind and do whatever I have to in order to accomplish the task. I play a great Christian. I have had people compliment me on my walk with God, that His light shines through me, etc, blah blah blah. How many times is that completely genuine on my part. I am a fabulous actor. I do not love. I am weak. I can do nothing on my own. I can't even become humble on my own. Quiet times are routine, Bible study is a check off the list. I am not love. Christ is not glorified in my life. You feeling the pain yet? You depressed that you can never be that awesome Christian you strive to be? Good. Let's start with the basic.

We do not become better Christians through our own ability. God shines though us brighter and more often not through our actions. He is great, powerful, loving, amazing to us and we respond to His goodness. Everything we do is simply a reaction to the Almighty.  How do you react to God?

Here is a challenge for you...stop being a Christian, stop trying so hard. Put everything you know about living a "godly life" aside and do ONE THING.......

Love God. Respond accordingly to what He has done in your life. Tell me what happens. He is glorified and you are strong. 

Joy in the resurrection.

No this is not the title just because Easter is around the corner. The resurrection proves to be our joy for life. Our hope is put completely on one weekend, 2000 years ago. The weekend we celebrate today as Easter. 

"What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus has been raised from the dead, we've been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for." 1 peter 1:3

Our hope is centered completely around the fact that no matter what we are going through in life, no matter the trial, the suffering, the darkness, we serve a God who has conquered all of that in his life and continued to put it to death once and for all on the cross. Sin was defeated on the cross. Hope came in the resurrection! Because we have a God that not only died for us and became the punishment for our sin, we have a hope of living eternally with HIM! That is joy enough for us. But God didn't stop there, He wrote the next chapter. 

The next miracle came when He brought us fullness of joy. The resurrection! He not only died for us, He rose from the dead and brought with him the hope that we live for now! This is what we live for. Until we get to step foot into our eternal kingdom when He returns, He allows us to have a taste of it here on earth. Now that is joy! 

Why do we stumble, why do we fail? Our hope is not in Christ Jesus and His resurrection. Do we still consider Him dead? His power useless? We take it upon ourselves, and we fail every single time. Our power is useless and dead, unless it comes from the resurrected Lord! 

Christopher Reeve once said, "Once you choose hope, anything is possible." I say that once you choose to put your hope IN CHRIST, anything is possible. Hope is something that comes from the nearness of God.  You can hope in something that you trust, but how can you trust someone you do not know?  The more you get to know God through time spend with Him daily, the more you trust Him. Your hope is placed in the ones you trust. 

We see hope differently than the world. We see hope being in God alone for we trust that whatever He has planned is for our good and His glory. He is going to carry us through no matter what. The world's hope is found in things and people that can leave us and die. 

This is why Peter challenges the followers to "set apart Christ as Lord in your heart, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you..." Easter weekend is a time for us to show the world the hope we live for everyday, Christ and His resurrection. 

But when someone who needs joy in their life, they need a little hope to keep them going, if they look at me, can they find the source of that joy and hope? Or do they see someone who doesn't even believe in the hope they proclaim?