my idea of joy was different than this

He did not come and die for me in order for joy to look like this in my life. He wanted more. He created more. He did not come in order for me to be put into bondage. He came to set me free. For where the joy of the Lord is, there is freedom! Freedom from sin, freedom from addiction, freedom from FEAR! 

Fear is the opposite of joy in my books. If I am relax about something and I'm really not concerned about how something is going to turn out, I am happy. Truly happy. Lately, I have mastered the art of being fearful. Therefore, I have lost in the area of joy. 

Joy is the light in the darkness of fear. 

Why joy in the middle of fear/anxiety/worry? The LORD is my Shepherd, I will not want. He provides everything I need. When I feel protected, full, and at peace, I am happy and joyful no matter what grey clouds cover my sky. 

I don't let Him protect, I think I have someone stronger. 

I don't let Him feed me, I would rather go get breakfast.

I don't let Him calm me down, I am too busy in the arms of another. 

How can I hear my Shepherds voice in the busyness? I have forgotten what it sounds like due to my new music I just had to know. Why is my life consumed with fear/worry/anxiety? There is a void from pain and hurt and it has taken up residency. 

"Be still and KNOW that I am God." Sometimes all we can do is sit with our knowledge and remind ourselves that He is God, no matter what I think or do. Thank goodness He has a tight grip on his stubborn child.